November 29, 2010

My fav. gift


I got the best gift of my life years back when I was blessed with a brother! Things have changed, life has moved but still every morning the first thought that bothers me is our memories. For years, I have stayed out of home and every time before going home I felt a definite excitement. But at home, I missed you more often. I have just broken apart. I so want to fulfill all your ambitions but I fear what if I am not able to 'coz I know tears break me down. I think of you often and I miss you. I wish I had never let you go. I wish I could have changed things. I wish I could turn back time...
I sit alone, With only my thoughts, And memories of times past. I sit here sad, Wanting to recapture, Times we’ve had. I sit here crying, Longing to feel your embrace, Your hands, your face. But all of these, I can not have, we're far away. 
Right now, I really miss my friend in much that nothing could be compared to! I have tried not to think of you but failed miserably. I always told you that I am not strong enough to hold on. But even then I am being tested.

Memories still lingers me with questions.
Would it have been justified if I would have not been discourteous about not-showing you my cell phone and could it ‘really’ save you from going away? Was it possible for me to have you right here talking to me, listening to my teen stories!? Can it be done that I would teach you and in the end, learn from you? Could we still plan to run in rain, dance in monsoon games, fight the storms and plan with you. Couldn’t you stay till the end of time? No-on yes no one would ever replace even a single bit that you did…
I fall asleep with tears burning in my eyes, mistake truths for lies.I smile and frown on seeing the photos, wonder what happened to our MOTTO. This winter makes me miss you a little more, for I know there'll be no new years off the shore..My longing is nothing new. And everyday I'm haunted by the fact that I miss you...I miss your smiling face...I miss your warm embrace!I miss being with you...I miss Moms smile when we said 'we love you'! I miss Dad's anxiety on what we would be doing when he came from work. I miss waiting for you...I miss you saying he's not the one for you!I miss the way we used to fight...I miss your look that gave me fright!I miss you every ways...I miss you changing my gray gloomy days!I miss the happiness at home brought by you...I just don't need anything but you...

Why can’t I see you smiling? Why do I have to think? What if my memory gets erased? Would you leave me in that world too?
"I have lost. I have found. I have cried. I have laughed. I have frowned. I have smiled. I have loved. I have lived."

I just don't wanna drive without you, Mowgli. >:D<


vemuri December 1, 2010 at 4:27 PM  

naice... your brother would feel proud of you. and would be happy as hell...

kelly alamanou December 11, 2010 at 12:09 PM  

nice post.
i like the song i hear visiting your place!

The Unknown Traveller January 20, 2011 at 8:03 AM  

I miss my brother too now.=(.

Your posts have kept me going when I needed the helping hand,and I have initiated a project,hope you get a chance to glance upon it:

Much love.

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This work by Sachi Mahajan is licensed.